Yesterday I met my mentee. We had never emailed or talked on the phone before, and we knew virtually nothing about each other. I must confess, it was a bit awkward.
However, it was beautiful. She is warm, sharp, attentive, lovely, confident and gracious. Who is mentoring whom? I already knew I wasn't up to the task, but I go where God sends me, so He must know what He's doing (figure? ha!).
And can I say...I'll say it anyway. When I mentioned running, her hands fluttered up and she got a spark in her eye. She said she has been trying to get into a fitness habit, and has been praying to establish running or some such thing into her life but has been struggling. Seriously. I asked if she wanted to run together and she quickly replied, "Yes!" She runs similar distances and times as do I. We figured out that we can both run regularly in the early mornings, so it's a plan! She put her hands up to her mouth, grinned big, and said, "Running buddy!"
What was I lamenting just yesterday?
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Bitten By the Bug
Oy, I think I caught p.j.'s illness of last weekend. I swore I wouldn't get it, so maybe it's just something else. Either way, I feel pretty ick today.
Last night found me lying on the couch, thumping my Nike+ sensor on the couch in order to rack up some time. This cheat was justified by my iPod cheating me on my morning run. While p.j. was dropping me off, I noted that my iPod was dead. Oh. No biggie, I can still run. But I want credit for my run! I timed the run and clocked the mileage on the way to work, then duplicated it as best as possible with the cheat for my records. Let me tell you, it's not so easy to fool Nike+. It was hard work getting it to buy my faux run! This morning p.j. did another drop off, and this time I had a fully charged iPod, and Nike+ did its thing as I did mine. My lungs labored more than normal, for sure, but the rest felt great.
In the mornings, I have been bundling up the nekkid spots in order to avoid having that one miserable piece of flesh in agony. I am even warming my air. p.j.'s is loaning his windstopper/face warmer to me, which is keeping my nose from the intense ache of huffing on cold air. A fleece earwarmer headband and a fleece beanie both keep my ears and head nice and cozy. p.j. is also loaning me a fleece neck warmer. Fleece gloves, a flashlight and...other protection are the final touches. Did I mention all of these items are black, as were my pants? p.j. took a picture (while snickering), which I will try to post. The whole ninja effect was ruined when I donned my bright orange jacket. Oh, well I guess ninjas don't generally wear white running shoes either, eh?
Last night found me lying on the couch, thumping my Nike+ sensor on the couch in order to rack up some time. This cheat was justified by my iPod cheating me on my morning run. While p.j. was dropping me off, I noted that my iPod was dead. Oh. No biggie, I can still run. But I want credit for my run! I timed the run and clocked the mileage on the way to work, then duplicated it as best as possible with the cheat for my records. Let me tell you, it's not so easy to fool Nike+. It was hard work getting it to buy my faux run! This morning p.j. did another drop off, and this time I had a fully charged iPod, and Nike+ did its thing as I did mine. My lungs labored more than normal, for sure, but the rest felt great.
In the mornings, I have been bundling up the nekkid spots in order to avoid having that one miserable piece of flesh in agony. I am even warming my air. p.j.'s is loaning his windstopper/face warmer to me, which is keeping my nose from the intense ache of huffing on cold air. A fleece earwarmer headband and a fleece beanie both keep my ears and head nice and cozy. p.j. is also loaning me a fleece neck warmer. Fleece gloves, a flashlight and...other protection are the final touches. Did I mention all of these items are black, as were my pants? p.j. took a picture (while snickering), which I will try to post. The whole ninja effect was ruined when I donned my bright orange jacket. Oh, well I guess ninjas don't generally wear white running shoes either, eh?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Making Time
Ah, back after a pause of the blog. I'm not doing a great job meeting my goals, however I'm doing an admirable job working towards them. When I fall down, I get back up again and trudge on. My running hasn't happened when I have hoped, so I have completed them at other times. I've run twice since my last blog entry, which is a sight better than none at all!
Unfortunately (but fortunately, I guess), it's time to employ a schedule in my life. I have too much going on to be able to plan willy nilly. I have Bible time & prayer, running, mentoring, Bible classes, meetings & appointments, friends and p.j. time to juggle, not to mention the job and keeping up with the business and affairs of the home. It's feeling a bit overwhelming, although its obviously not too much to fit into my life; I just need to get organized.
I used to be the organization and neat 'n clean queen, but somewhere along the way I got tired (or stoned, maybe). Marriage helped, as multiple people make for more business and more of a mess than does one, so I was forced to get going or be buried in a humongoid mess. p.j. is excellent with helping around the house - rather, I should say amazing - but I am "the noticer" of most things needing done and I do all the finances and family business. All of these things could benefit greatly by the implementation of a schedule.
So that's my next goal: Get a weekly calendar and USE IT!
I'm actually pretty excited about this, as there is so much to do and I'm looking forward to doing it. Hey, maybe there's a nifty iPod ap for this...
Unfortunately (but fortunately, I guess), it's time to employ a schedule in my life. I have too much going on to be able to plan willy nilly. I have Bible time & prayer, running, mentoring, Bible classes, meetings & appointments, friends and p.j. time to juggle, not to mention the job and keeping up with the business and affairs of the home. It's feeling a bit overwhelming, although its obviously not too much to fit into my life; I just need to get organized.
I used to be the organization and neat 'n clean queen, but somewhere along the way I got tired (or stoned, maybe). Marriage helped, as multiple people make for more business and more of a mess than does one, so I was forced to get going or be buried in a humongoid mess. p.j. is excellent with helping around the house - rather, I should say amazing - but I am "the noticer" of most things needing done and I do all the finances and family business. All of these things could benefit greatly by the implementation of a schedule.
So that's my next goal: Get a weekly calendar and USE IT!
I'm actually pretty excited about this, as there is so much to do and I'm looking forward to doing it. Hey, maybe there's a nifty iPod ap for this...
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Got Guilt?
Well, I feel like a big, dumb loser for not getting up this morning to run. The half-asleep me is an excellent and convincing debater. Sleep smothers reason, and half-asleep would do anything to become full on snooze.
It doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get, and I even count to make sure I'm getting up at the end of a sleep cycle in order to to set myself up for success. There was no green beer or anything of the like last night, so it's not like I'm reaping what I sewed.
What to do, what to do? p.j. asked me if I would like for him to help. He said he would be insistent if it wouldn't get him into trouble. Ha, that was pretty funny. So I think we'll try it. But no telling how the half-asleep me will respond, and my husband is beautiful without black eyes. If that version of me is mean to p.j., I will instantly lose that resource.
So, enough of the guilt. Repent and move on. The actual repenting isn't quite as easy as I'd like (so God help me). BUT! It's another beautiful day, I have my two classes today, I get to see my friends and my p.j. tonight.
There's a migraine "thing" out there that I have read about for quite some time, and I plan to explore it as a root of many/most of my migraines and as a means of stopping them. Feelings of guilt, or perceived guilt, lead to fear. Think about it. Perceiving that we carry guilt about something causes us to consider, often subconsciously, the consequences of whatever led to that feeling of guilt. The guilt followed by fear lowers serotonin levels and heightens histamine levels in us. And that, my friends, is the recipe for a migraine.
There are, of course, other roots to the problem. Hormones, food sources, weather changes, and a kajillion other possibilities, which makes it really difficult to figure the cause sometimes. But when a person has known the food sources through the study and experimentation of many years of illness, is in tune to hormone cycles due to the same, but unexplained migraines yet occur, it's time to look elsewhere.
I have been living in a giant, lifelong guilt complex. From childhood through now, my actions have been scrutinized, my feelings squelched, and everything true about me has been shamed by key family members (who also deal with others in this manner) and, consequently, by me. I'm not laying blame on my family for being rooted in legalism and not living in grace; they know no better, but simply function from an ignorant place. I do find its important to let the truth be the truth, however, and to let illusions of reality fade away. I don't know how not to feel responsible for every bad thing, or anyone's bad mood even, around me. I don't know how not to feel shame for who I am. My brain knows I'm not guilty, but something rooted deeply inside of me knows that I am. Romans 8:1 says "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." I am in Christ Jesus and I choose to walk according to the Holy Spirit, which means that there is no condemnation for me, but I have been covered with the righteousness of Jesus. This means I have no guilt, as that guilt hung on the cross with Him on Calvary. Colossians 2:13-14 says "And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross." So, do I believe it or not? I would say yes, as my brain believes it. But I have to say no, as my heart doesn't get it. My heart needs to get it, and now it's time to seek that out.
It doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get, and I even count to make sure I'm getting up at the end of a sleep cycle in order to to set myself up for success. There was no green beer or anything of the like last night, so it's not like I'm reaping what I sewed.
What to do, what to do? p.j. asked me if I would like for him to help. He said he would be insistent if it wouldn't get him into trouble. Ha, that was pretty funny. So I think we'll try it. But no telling how the half-asleep me will respond, and my husband is beautiful without black eyes. If that version of me is mean to p.j., I will instantly lose that resource.
So, enough of the guilt. Repent and move on. The actual repenting isn't quite as easy as I'd like (so God help me). BUT! It's another beautiful day, I have my two classes today, I get to see my friends and my p.j. tonight.
There's a migraine "thing" out there that I have read about for quite some time, and I plan to explore it as a root of many/most of my migraines and as a means of stopping them. Feelings of guilt, or perceived guilt, lead to fear. Think about it. Perceiving that we carry guilt about something causes us to consider, often subconsciously, the consequences of whatever led to that feeling of guilt. The guilt followed by fear lowers serotonin levels and heightens histamine levels in us. And that, my friends, is the recipe for a migraine.
There are, of course, other roots to the problem. Hormones, food sources, weather changes, and a kajillion other possibilities, which makes it really difficult to figure the cause sometimes. But when a person has known the food sources through the study and experimentation of many years of illness, is in tune to hormone cycles due to the same, but unexplained migraines yet occur, it's time to look elsewhere.
I have been living in a giant, lifelong guilt complex. From childhood through now, my actions have been scrutinized, my feelings squelched, and everything true about me has been shamed by key family members (who also deal with others in this manner) and, consequently, by me. I'm not laying blame on my family for being rooted in legalism and not living in grace; they know no better, but simply function from an ignorant place. I do find its important to let the truth be the truth, however, and to let illusions of reality fade away. I don't know how not to feel responsible for every bad thing, or anyone's bad mood even, around me. I don't know how not to feel shame for who I am. My brain knows I'm not guilty, but something rooted deeply inside of me knows that I am. Romans 8:1 says "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." I am in Christ Jesus and I choose to walk according to the Holy Spirit, which means that there is no condemnation for me, but I have been covered with the righteousness of Jesus. This means I have no guilt, as that guilt hung on the cross with Him on Calvary. Colossians 2:13-14 says "And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross." So, do I believe it or not? I would say yes, as my brain believes it. But I have to say no, as my heart doesn't get it. My heart needs to get it, and now it's time to seek that out.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Goal Checkup!
A revisit of yesterday's goals:
- Running frequency: I planned another run via drop off by p.j. this morning, but realized I had no long running pants or shirts left to wear. That's a potential problem of not planning well in advance, I suppose. I was sad to miss driving out with my man. I still have plenty of time to get in those runs this week, but do not want to put it off. I plan to run tonight (can wear less clothes due to day time warmth!) expediting the process so as to be able to shower and be presentable in time for our core group, or tomorrow morning after washing running clothes tonight. Tonight I plan to wash running clothes.
- Water consumption: I got a full quart in before noon, but didn't get the Kerr refilled because the filtered water is so far away. At least 50 feet. Yeah, I know. At about 6pm I gave up on a migraine battle and took a shot of Imi, which knocked me out for 12 hours, and I wasn't drinking while sleeping. A quart is improvement, though, so today I will concentrate on not being grossly lazy; when the first quart is empty (it's over half way there now), I shall get up and refill it!
- Eating: Throughout the day, I was attentive to what I ate, avoided grazing and had regular sized meals, not going back for seconds. I was fully satisfied and felt pretty good about how it went. Of course, I'm sure that sacking out at 6pm helped out by shortening the day. I'm instantly down 3 of those 5 pounds, so I have to assume it was largely (ha ha) water weight. Today, I will keep up the intentional eating.
- God date: Yesterday I sacked out on the couch from the Imitrex shot, but when p.j. got me up to go to bed, I couldn't go back to sleep. So I got up and chatted with God, read some Bible & study stuff. I felt the reconnect, wow, and I don't want to drop that again. I know He honors my time spent being in His presence. Today we have a tight schedule, so if I don't have time for running and devotions, I will spend time with God and shift the running to tomorrow morning.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Third Time Really Is a Charm
Ahh, the early bird definitely didn't get stuck with the grody worm today!
Yesterday afternoon I was nailed with a nasty migraine (still not there on prevention - I have another theory that I'm sure will get me lots of mileage...more later) which I tried not to medicate. It grew into the horrible, stinky, awful, nasty, wretched monster with the teeth and claws that reminded me of just why I medicate, so I took a shot of Imitrex, which made me useless. I swear those shots hit me harder now that I'm taking 1/4 of my past dosage of Topamax.
Not being willing to run any less than three times this week, but hoping for a count of four (oh, yep, look there, it seems I just confessed that goal to you), and knowing I have back-to-back classes after work tonight, I figured I should go for an early morning run. Not fully convinced of this, I asked p.j. what time he would be leaving for work in the morning. He replied, "Five-thirty." Oy. Well it would surely give me enough time for a run before shower-time. So I took the plunge and asked him to awaken me in the morning when he got up; that meant getting up at 5 a.m.
At getting-up-time, I asked p.j. to give me 15 more minutes. Dangerous move. He came in again after the 15 and I rolled out of bed, away from that singularly unpleasant dream I was having. Whose brain created that? Anyway, I spent some time confusedly pacing the downstairs looking for some of my gear, but I eventually got it worked out. I got in the Jeep with p.j. and started the drive to work with him; it was a fun little drive. However, I had him drop me off on the other side of town, where I kicked on the Nike+ and ran back home. And boy did it feel wonderful! I had my 30 minutes, but this time I ran 2.85 miles. I guess the bump in distance was due to the "back to the barn" thing.
Just as I arrived at the house, a.h. could be heard hitting the snooze button upstairs. I had beaten him! Until lately, we've had endless hot water, even when both showers are going at once. Recently though, my showers have taken a turn for the cold at the end, after a.h. has been in his shower for 45 minutes or so. I know. But this time I got in way before he did, so I had plenty of hot water. I wonder if he did?
The plan is to keep my runs at 30 minutes for - I don't know - a long time probably. Long enough to be firmly established. I will probably indulge in longer weekend runs, but these short little runs fit nicely into my schedule and leave plenty of heart to long for the next time. In the past, I have always felt the need to constantly increase my distances. The longer distances got in the way of the rest of my schedule and took up time I didn't have, which made me feel...kind of frantic or out of control or something. Being quite competitive by nature, and of course being competitive against myself, it takes the pressure off to know I am just running for 30 minutes. I get to relax and enjoy it. I like it.
I feel that my motivation is building and I have some momentum: Motivatimentum. However, I will do my utmost not to rely on it prematurely, as this glorious and most excellent 3rd outing in no way qualifies running as a habit formed yet. My goal is yet to be intentional, taking nothing for granted. Although I sure am loving what I have been granted.
Yesterday afternoon I was nailed with a nasty migraine (still not there on prevention - I have another theory that I'm sure will get me lots of mileage...more later) which I tried not to medicate. It grew into the horrible, stinky, awful, nasty, wretched monster with the teeth and claws that reminded me of just why I medicate, so I took a shot of Imitrex, which made me useless. I swear those shots hit me harder now that I'm taking 1/4 of my past dosage of Topamax.
Not being willing to run any less than three times this week, but hoping for a count of four (oh, yep, look there, it seems I just confessed that goal to you), and knowing I have back-to-back classes after work tonight, I figured I should go for an early morning run. Not fully convinced of this, I asked p.j. what time he would be leaving for work in the morning. He replied, "Five-thirty." Oy. Well it would surely give me enough time for a run before shower-time. So I took the plunge and asked him to awaken me in the morning when he got up; that meant getting up at 5 a.m.
At getting-up-time, I asked p.j. to give me 15 more minutes. Dangerous move. He came in again after the 15 and I rolled out of bed, away from that singularly unpleasant dream I was having. Whose brain created that? Anyway, I spent some time confusedly pacing the downstairs looking for some of my gear, but I eventually got it worked out. I got in the Jeep with p.j. and started the drive to work with him; it was a fun little drive. However, I had him drop me off on the other side of town, where I kicked on the Nike+ and ran back home. And boy did it feel wonderful! I had my 30 minutes, but this time I ran 2.85 miles. I guess the bump in distance was due to the "back to the barn" thing.
Just as I arrived at the house, a.h. could be heard hitting the snooze button upstairs. I had beaten him! Until lately, we've had endless hot water, even when both showers are going at once. Recently though, my showers have taken a turn for the cold at the end, after a.h. has been in his shower for 45 minutes or so. I know. But this time I got in way before he did, so I had plenty of hot water. I wonder if he did?
The plan is to keep my runs at 30 minutes for - I don't know - a long time probably. Long enough to be firmly established. I will probably indulge in longer weekend runs, but these short little runs fit nicely into my schedule and leave plenty of heart to long for the next time. In the past, I have always felt the need to constantly increase my distances. The longer distances got in the way of the rest of my schedule and took up time I didn't have, which made me feel...kind of frantic or out of control or something. Being quite competitive by nature, and of course being competitive against myself, it takes the pressure off to know I am just running for 30 minutes. I get to relax and enjoy it. I like it.
I feel that my motivation is building and I have some momentum: Motivatimentum. However, I will do my utmost not to rely on it prematurely, as this glorious and most excellent 3rd outing in no way qualifies running as a habit formed yet. My goal is yet to be intentional, taking nothing for granted. Although I sure am loving what I have been granted.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Rainy Day, Squelched Migraine and...Yep, a Run!
I did it again! Thank you for being my accountability partner.
During the work day I felt a migraine coming on. Exercise exacerbates migraines, plus just try being able to exercise if you get significant migraines. (Good luck.) I'm not supposed to exercise on the medication, so I didn't medicate, but I worried. I also took action. I ate, as blood sugar ups and downs has been linked to migraine. My 1/2 PB & J seemed to make it worse (peanuts, oops), so I stayed as calm as possible and drank a pint of water, ate some strawberries & hard boiled eggs, and took 3 ibuprofen and prayed that God would take the headache away. In the past, ibuprofen has instantly manifested a flirtatious migraine, but I am doing things differently now (vitamins, etc.), so I figured it was worth trying for a different outcome. If taken early enough, the anti-inflammatory can work on the expanding blood vessel in the bean to keep it from blowing out. God be praised, the oncoming migraine actually went away!
As I drove home, I worried a bit about the very rainy, gray day. It's hard for me to get out of the house once I step into it after work, but a rainy or gray day (compounded if it's rainy and gray) amplifies the cozy calling of the post-work house. About half way home, I became the detested driving telephoner and called p.j. (making him another D.D.T.), asked about his day and then...yep, I reported my running plans to him, too. I also confessed my worries about getting back out of the house. He encouraged me and asked, "Didn't you used to run in the rain all the time back in Eugene?" Yes, yes I did. And although I generally hate the rain, the one time I love to be out in it is for a run. So I was intentional in my thinking all the way home (30 minute drive), planning how I would avoid my cute and fuzzy cat (who would be calling me to pajamas & cuddling time) and head straight for the running gear.
I stayed focused and got my bum out the door! a.h. looked up in surprise as I stepped out the door and called to him, "See you later." He asked where I was going. I guess I've been so far from the running scene that my running gear didn't tip him off.
The run was very difficult. I had to focus on form and breathing quite a bit, and boy did I earn that 30 minutes. As I was starting my last 5 minutes (thank you, Nike+ for reporting this to me and helping my sanity), I said to myself, "This is what makes people tough," and I really felt like I was working out something in my character that I hadn't approached in a long time. Although I was taxing my out of shape body, I was having a hard time suppressing a huge (stupid feeling) smile, feeling the wonderful thing I was doing for my mind, my body and - for the first time ever - I felt what I was growing in my spirit. Perseverance. Pushing through the hard times even when they hurt. Hanging in there and seeing the hard job through. Finding joy and peace in the hard times. Self-discipline, I got out there and will get out there again, remembering that the good thing often doesn't feel the best.
Oh, I should mention that my pace was 8 seconds per mile faster than Saturday's. I am putting my iPod in my pocket so as not to drive myself batty looking at my running information. I just want the end results at this point, so I wasn't able to see I could have kicked it down a notch. But that's alright by me.
When I returned home, p.j. was there. I came in the house and started stripping off my wet outer gear, shoes, iPod, etc. and stretching. I told him, "This is why people do this. That was really hard work." And instantly my words from Saturday echoed in my ears. Saturday's run had felt great and the sun had been shining. After my run I had said, "This is why people do this, this feels great!" Funny. In all my running in the past, I had never actualized that thought: Either way, good running day or bad, you're getting the best of it so long as you get out there. Down with superstitious thoughts/feelings about good runs being the goal.
p.j.'s reply? "You know what you're doing, right? You're motivating me to want to get out there and run." For someone who kind of hates running, that's not so bad.
During the work day I felt a migraine coming on. Exercise exacerbates migraines, plus just try being able to exercise if you get significant migraines. (Good luck.) I'm not supposed to exercise on the medication, so I didn't medicate, but I worried. I also took action. I ate, as blood sugar ups and downs has been linked to migraine. My 1/2 PB & J seemed to make it worse (peanuts, oops), so I stayed as calm as possible and drank a pint of water, ate some strawberries & hard boiled eggs, and took 3 ibuprofen and prayed that God would take the headache away. In the past, ibuprofen has instantly manifested a flirtatious migraine, but I am doing things differently now (vitamins, etc.), so I figured it was worth trying for a different outcome. If taken early enough, the anti-inflammatory can work on the expanding blood vessel in the bean to keep it from blowing out. God be praised, the oncoming migraine actually went away!
As I drove home, I worried a bit about the very rainy, gray day. It's hard for me to get out of the house once I step into it after work, but a rainy or gray day (compounded if it's rainy and gray) amplifies the cozy calling of the post-work house. About half way home, I became the detested driving telephoner and called p.j. (making him another D.D.T.), asked about his day and then...yep, I reported my running plans to him, too. I also confessed my worries about getting back out of the house. He encouraged me and asked, "Didn't you used to run in the rain all the time back in Eugene?" Yes, yes I did. And although I generally hate the rain, the one time I love to be out in it is for a run. So I was intentional in my thinking all the way home (30 minute drive), planning how I would avoid my cute and fuzzy cat (who would be calling me to pajamas & cuddling time) and head straight for the running gear.
I stayed focused and got my bum out the door! a.h. looked up in surprise as I stepped out the door and called to him, "See you later." He asked where I was going. I guess I've been so far from the running scene that my running gear didn't tip him off.
The run was very difficult. I had to focus on form and breathing quite a bit, and boy did I earn that 30 minutes. As I was starting my last 5 minutes (thank you, Nike+ for reporting this to me and helping my sanity), I said to myself, "This is what makes people tough," and I really felt like I was working out something in my character that I hadn't approached in a long time. Although I was taxing my out of shape body, I was having a hard time suppressing a huge (stupid feeling) smile, feeling the wonderful thing I was doing for my mind, my body and - for the first time ever - I felt what I was growing in my spirit. Perseverance. Pushing through the hard times even when they hurt. Hanging in there and seeing the hard job through. Finding joy and peace in the hard times. Self-discipline, I got out there and will get out there again, remembering that the good thing often doesn't feel the best.
Oh, I should mention that my pace was 8 seconds per mile faster than Saturday's. I am putting my iPod in my pocket so as not to drive myself batty looking at my running information. I just want the end results at this point, so I wasn't able to see I could have kicked it down a notch. But that's alright by me.
When I returned home, p.j. was there. I came in the house and started stripping off my wet outer gear, shoes, iPod, etc. and stretching. I told him, "This is why people do this. That was really hard work." And instantly my words from Saturday echoed in my ears. Saturday's run had felt great and the sun had been shining. After my run I had said, "This is why people do this, this feels great!" Funny. In all my running in the past, I had never actualized that thought: Either way, good running day or bad, you're getting the best of it so long as you get out there. Down with superstitious thoughts/feelings about good runs being the goal.
p.j.'s reply? "You know what you're doing, right? You're motivating me to want to get out there and run." For someone who kind of hates running, that's not so bad.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Success!
I did it. I ran!
Friday I emailed my friend and told her I was planning a morning run. I also told my husband. And, of course, I told you. Friday I planned out Saturday's schedule, set my alarm (yes, a weekend alarm) and watched my bedtime. I also gathered up my running gear and put it all in one stack in my closet so I wouldn't have to think in the morning.
Saturday, I obeyed my alarm. I awoke pretty excited, actually. I got dressed, didn't eat (oh well), didn't drink (oops), and hit the road for a lovely first run. I stuck to 30 minutes so as to leave excitement for the next run and to take it easy on the ole body, and it was great. The first half, I was unstoppable. The second half, I was flagging, but presence of mind caused me to straighten up, mind my form and breathing and remember than I could start walking whenever it pleased me. The form reminder was all I needed to freshen up, and it didn't please me to walk so I didn't. I got to wear my new jacket (what a fantastic jacket!) and pants, as it was too cold for the skirts. I remembered gloves but forgot a hat, so all was quite comfy except for my poor ears, which were quite painful. I ran 2.6 miles. I am happy to be alive with working limbs.
Sunday I reverted to the passive running plan, wherein I told nobody and neither did I actually plan a time for it. I was sure I would "get around to it", but - long story short - I did not. This morning I passively hoped to get up for a run. I again told nobody about my plan, didn't get to bed in time last night and didn't set my alarm for the proper time.
Lessons:
So how are you? I am planning to run tonight after work. (Check)
And now, after work the first thing on my list is a run. (Check)
I've found another lame excuse that knocks my runs to "more convenient" places in my schedule, which means it knocks them right out: The Post Run Shower. I have felt that showers must take place either first thing in the morning, as part of the morning readying ritual, or last thing at night, as part of the going to bed process. Let me actualize, right here, what a stupid excuse this is! Why can't I take a shower in the middle of the day, in the middle of the evening, or at any other time? If I end up having to go somewhere, I can simply do low maintenance preparations -oh yes, yes I can! Shower Excuse, you've just been KOed.
Tonight I plan to run.
Friday I emailed my friend and told her I was planning a morning run. I also told my husband. And, of course, I told you. Friday I planned out Saturday's schedule, set my alarm (yes, a weekend alarm) and watched my bedtime. I also gathered up my running gear and put it all in one stack in my closet so I wouldn't have to think in the morning.
Saturday, I obeyed my alarm. I awoke pretty excited, actually. I got dressed, didn't eat (oh well), didn't drink (oops), and hit the road for a lovely first run. I stuck to 30 minutes so as to leave excitement for the next run and to take it easy on the ole body, and it was great. The first half, I was unstoppable. The second half, I was flagging, but presence of mind caused me to straighten up, mind my form and breathing and remember than I could start walking whenever it pleased me. The form reminder was all I needed to freshen up, and it didn't please me to walk so I didn't. I got to wear my new jacket (what a fantastic jacket!) and pants, as it was too cold for the skirts. I remembered gloves but forgot a hat, so all was quite comfy except for my poor ears, which were quite painful. I ran 2.6 miles. I am happy to be alive with working limbs.
Sunday I reverted to the passive running plan, wherein I told nobody and neither did I actually plan a time for it. I was sure I would "get around to it", but - long story short - I did not. This morning I passively hoped to get up for a run. I again told nobody about my plan, didn't get to bed in time last night and didn't set my alarm for the proper time.
Lessons:
- Poor planning or no planning = no execution!
- Scheduling, preparation and accountability seem to be excellent things in the viability of a run.
So how are you? I am planning to run tonight after work. (Check)
And now, after work the first thing on my list is a run. (Check)
I've found another lame excuse that knocks my runs to "more convenient" places in my schedule, which means it knocks them right out: The Post Run Shower. I have felt that showers must take place either first thing in the morning, as part of the morning readying ritual, or last thing at night, as part of the going to bed process. Let me actualize, right here, what a stupid excuse this is! Why can't I take a shower in the middle of the day, in the middle of the evening, or at any other time? If I end up having to go somewhere, I can simply do low maintenance preparations -oh yes, yes I can! Shower Excuse, you've just been KOed.
Tonight I plan to run.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Secret Plans of Failure
I'm doing it. I'm stepping off the Topamax wagon. Friday night I did decrease to 25 mg Topamax doses as planned, keeping up on the 2000mg vitamin D supplementation. I've been doing 25 mg twice a day, and I realize now I think I was supposed to start with only moving one of my daily doses down to 25 mg, but...eh. I have just learned from my dear dad-in-law that vitamin E is also recommended for migraine sufferers, and in my vitamin E research I have found that B complex is also. As I am starting on Folic Acid with B complex anyway (will let you know when), the latter is covered. This will be an interesting discovery period.
I have truly had an abundance of energy this weekend; I can already tell the difference. Now, I won't promise it's not all in my head, but Topamax half-life is 21 hours, so it makes sense that I would feel the difference. It is as if I have risen out of a fog - into a lighter fog. It's pretty wonderful. I did have a migraine yesterday and had to medicate with Imitrex - and boy did the Imi knock me for a loop this time - but I guess my body needs to adjust to the new levels (I hope that's all). And it's not like I didn't get plenty of migraines while on Topamax anyway. I didn't have migraines Saturday or Sunday.
So have I run yet? No. I honestly thought I would be reporting something different in this blog today. Saturday morning I secretly planned a run before we celebrated our friend's birthday (sushi lunch, ahhhhh!), but I awoke starving. When I'm even mildly in shape, I don't mind running hungry. Sure it's harder, but I'd rather just get out there and do it. However, when I'm out of shape, there isn't much more miserable/discouraging than running on empty. As our pantry doesn't look like most pantries in this century (therefore nothing quick was available), I was going to cook an egg or so, rest on it for a bit, then hit it. But turning the "getting out the door" process into something so high-maintenance made me realize it was looking like less of a reality. Especially since my husband and I were having such great "conversation", which delayed getting up until quite late and I had to jump in the shower to get ready for lunch (which was in the next town). After our friend's birthday celebration we went to church (we go to Saturday night service to avoid the crush of the Sunday a.m. services as well as to avoid getting up and rolling weekend mornings), then we had to eat, and then and then and then...it was too late. Sunday held different activities, but was patterned the same.
So what can be learned from this? Several key things.
Another thing, I've set my alarm for 6 a.m. Monday & Tuesday mornings, but have snoozed it to death! Must pray for some stinking self-discipline and less love for that bed of laziness.
I have truly had an abundance of energy this weekend; I can already tell the difference. Now, I won't promise it's not all in my head, but Topamax half-life is 21 hours, so it makes sense that I would feel the difference. It is as if I have risen out of a fog - into a lighter fog. It's pretty wonderful. I did have a migraine yesterday and had to medicate with Imitrex - and boy did the Imi knock me for a loop this time - but I guess my body needs to adjust to the new levels (I hope that's all). And it's not like I didn't get plenty of migraines while on Topamax anyway. I didn't have migraines Saturday or Sunday.
So have I run yet? No. I honestly thought I would be reporting something different in this blog today. Saturday morning I secretly planned a run before we celebrated our friend's birthday (sushi lunch, ahhhhh!), but I awoke starving. When I'm even mildly in shape, I don't mind running hungry. Sure it's harder, but I'd rather just get out there and do it. However, when I'm out of shape, there isn't much more miserable/discouraging than running on empty. As our pantry doesn't look like most pantries in this century (therefore nothing quick was available), I was going to cook an egg or so, rest on it for a bit, then hit it. But turning the "getting out the door" process into something so high-maintenance made me realize it was looking like less of a reality. Especially since my husband and I were having such great "conversation", which delayed getting up until quite late and I had to jump in the shower to get ready for lunch (which was in the next town). After our friend's birthday celebration we went to church (we go to Saturday night service to avoid the crush of the Sunday a.m. services as well as to avoid getting up and rolling weekend mornings), then we had to eat, and then and then and then...it was too late. Sunday held different activities, but was patterned the same.
So what can be learned from this? Several key things.
- Why did I secretly plan my runs this weekend? Because I assumed I would fail and I preferred my failure to be secret as well. Tsk tsk. By not telling p.j. what I planned/hoped to do, he couldn't help me to succeed, and he loves to help me to succeed. He already knows about my struggle and doesn't judge me, I need to ignore the lie that he will judge me if I report to him as an act of accountability, whether or not I succeed that particular time. (And if he does secretly judge me, so what? He can still help me.)
- My days lack structure, and due to this I lose valuable time between activities. I need to begin asking God to show me how and give me the strength and ability to make a good daily structure (hate to say schedule - my family would hate me). Every time I have accomplished this in my own strength, I have been super-schedule-nazi for awhile, then I just crash and burn. I need God's grace and hand on this.
Another thing, I've set my alarm for 6 a.m. Monday & Tuesday mornings, but have snoozed it to death! Must pray for some stinking self-discipline and less love for that bed of laziness.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Physiological Laziness?
I have some new information today which may be groundbreaking in my struggle. As a lucky migraine-getter, I take a daily preventative, morning and night: Topamax. Today I read up on it to see if it is safe for pregnant women (yeah, I doubted it too), as it has occurred to me that I might have to taper off of it before the possibility of conception happens. Among the varied, interesting and terrible things I have found (bad idea for pregnant women) is a basic list of side effects which I have long forgotten:
Lessons for today:
In response to Lesson 2, I am ready to taper off of my medication, as I will need to do so soon enough anyway. (I have already been given the "all clear" to handle this by my doc.) Simply stopping a medication due to its side effects will often not be a possibility, but knowing about it is half the battle. If I wouldn't/won't be able to cope with pain without the medication, at least being ultra aware that much of the way I feel might be attributed to the medication, I will be better able to draw that line between my identity and the effects of the drug. This will help me to work with what I have, not making better excuses (ha ha!), but accepting reality and doing my best despite it. However, as of this moment I am excited to taper off of Topamax and see how that works with my heightened Vitamin D levels. For more information, read here.
My usual dosage is 50 mg in the a.m. + 50 mg in the p.m. Tonight I will take 25 mg!
- fatigue or drowsiness
- difficulty with concentration
- difficulty finding the right word (word retrieval)
- confusion
- dizziness
- unsteadiness
- a feeling of pins and needles, usually in the tips of the fingers and toes
- loss of appetite and weight loss
- nervousness
- depression
- difficulty with memory
Lessons for today:
- Have your doctor order regular blood labs on you. Keep tabs on what's going on inside your machine. When something is off, get 'er back on track.
- Stay informed on what you're swallowing. While this goes for absolutely everything, I'm specifically speaking of medications, supplements, foods and other substances you put in your mouth.
In response to Lesson 2, I am ready to taper off of my medication, as I will need to do so soon enough anyway. (I have already been given the "all clear" to handle this by my doc.) Simply stopping a medication due to its side effects will often not be a possibility, but knowing about it is half the battle. If I wouldn't/won't be able to cope with pain without the medication, at least being ultra aware that much of the way I feel might be attributed to the medication, I will be better able to draw that line between my identity and the effects of the drug. This will help me to work with what I have, not making better excuses (ha ha!), but accepting reality and doing my best despite it. However, as of this moment I am excited to taper off of Topamax and see how that works with my heightened Vitamin D levels. For more information, read here.
My usual dosage is 50 mg in the a.m. + 50 mg in the p.m. Tonight I will take 25 mg!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Addiction
Today the sun is shining and I long to go for a run. I don't know if I actually would go for a run if I were to be able to today this afternoon/evening, but right now I am mildly on fire! Another thing of significance is that yesterday I longed to go on a run as well, and at a lesser intensity than today. That means that since knocking out some excuses and praying about being able to overcome the difficulties of getting out the door, I have for two consecutive days desired to run and in increasing amounts.
Note that I still have not run, however. There are good reasons for this, this time, and not lame excuses (although there might have been lame excuses if there hadn't been great reasons, you never know). Yesterday I headed home from work, had a quick dinner with j.p., orchestrated a messy schedule, picked up some peeps and headed off to church, then did the after church drop off just in time to get "the cats" rounded up with all of their stuff and get them shipped out the door (oh finally, this glorious day - I suppose there's no place for this story in this blog today). By the time all of this was done, it was 9:30 and time to sit and try to wear off the accidental overdose of my anti-migraine medication. So while I don't expect I would have run, I'm not even going to suggest I could have. As for today, I have two classes, one starting just as I get off of work and the other starting half hour after the first one ends. I get home between 9:30 and 10:00, and am not willing to dress for a run when I should be dressing for bed. I do not feel this is unreasonable by any measure.
I have a morning bed addiction which I have been meaning to face, but which is...well...an addiction. I fight with the idea of getting up early for running vs. getting up early for time with Jesus and do neither. I truly do believe what is stated in Matthew 6:33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. ("all these things" being things we eat, things we drink, things we wear, as stated in verse 31 just prior, referring to the things we need for healthy living). Living according to this, I would like to get up early to seek God and make that relationship my #1 priority and let Him add running unto me, which I know He will do. But, you know, bed addiction. Maybe we'll talk more about this later.
Note that I still have not run, however. There are good reasons for this, this time, and not lame excuses (although there might have been lame excuses if there hadn't been great reasons, you never know). Yesterday I headed home from work, had a quick dinner with j.p., orchestrated a messy schedule, picked up some peeps and headed off to church, then did the after church drop off just in time to get "the cats" rounded up with all of their stuff and get them shipped out the door (oh finally, this glorious day - I suppose there's no place for this story in this blog today). By the time all of this was done, it was 9:30 and time to sit and try to wear off the accidental overdose of my anti-migraine medication. So while I don't expect I would have run, I'm not even going to suggest I could have. As for today, I have two classes, one starting just as I get off of work and the other starting half hour after the first one ends. I get home between 9:30 and 10:00, and am not willing to dress for a run when I should be dressing for bed. I do not feel this is unreasonable by any measure.
I have a morning bed addiction which I have been meaning to face, but which is...well...an addiction. I fight with the idea of getting up early for running vs. getting up early for time with Jesus and do neither. I truly do believe what is stated in Matthew 6:33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. ("all these things" being things we eat, things we drink, things we wear, as stated in verse 31 just prior, referring to the things we need for healthy living). Living according to this, I would like to get up early to seek God and make that relationship my #1 priority and let Him add running unto me, which I know He will do. But, you know, bed addiction. Maybe we'll talk more about this later.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Did Somebody Conquer Rome In A Day?
I wonder if nickle & diming kills excuses like nickle & diming kills my bank account? Well I intend to find out.
Without going great gusto, the 'all or nothing' from my inglorious past, I have attended to a thing or two as effort has permitted. I'll revisit the numbered points (I like to call them points rather than excuses - sounds better) I bulleted on my Feb 19th post:
1) Accidentally found Nike+ shoe insert thingy. Purposely put it in my running shoe in my closet so I'll know where it is.
2) By now, I happen to remember that I leave a pocket under the laces & tongue of one of my shoes to secure the Nike+ thingy in. While that's usually good enough (and works better for me than any suggestion I've read online so far), I think wrapping it in a small piece of non-slick cloth first will keep it from it's occasional slippage down into the main shoe area (terribly uncomfortable). Uh oh, now I'm preventing excuses in advance.
3) Found iPod, as I searched it out for some other use. (Funny how searching for it wasn't a problem when it wasn't to be used for exercise). Since I've found it, I've been using it for multiple tasks, therefore I still know its whereabouts.
4) Have been plugging iPod in daily so as not to wonder about power level. This has been intentional. Woo.
5) Deleted Bible reading application so reader's monotone, dry voice won't interrupt music mojo. Never fear, other Bible ap (the kind where I actually read it - and I don't have to use a dry, monotonous voice) is still there.
Okay, this is wholly amazing. The first 5 excuses have been entirely obliterated without so much as a plan of attack or a widespread effort. I can't even believe it. This is mere passive resistance. Simple nickle & dime technique. Regarding this particular list, remaining are:
6) I would have to get dressed for the run - but oh! I have two new running skirts - but it snowed today - BUT I also have a new pair of running pants AND a new running jacket!! So while getting out the door is the hardest part, the iPod is located, powered up and ready to roll and I have fun and cute clothes so it should actually be fun to get ready.
7) Timing
I would like to acknowledge that getting out the door will likely remain a challenge, and that gumption will probably be required for success. I am going to pray for gumption to get out the door.
Without going great gusto, the 'all or nothing' from my inglorious past, I have attended to a thing or two as effort has permitted. I'll revisit the numbered points (I like to call them points rather than excuses - sounds better) I bulleted on my Feb 19th post:
1) Accidentally found Nike+ shoe insert thingy. Purposely put it in my running shoe in my closet so I'll know where it is.
2) By now, I happen to remember that I leave a pocket under the laces & tongue of one of my shoes to secure the Nike+ thingy in. While that's usually good enough (and works better for me than any suggestion I've read online so far), I think wrapping it in a small piece of non-slick cloth first will keep it from it's occasional slippage down into the main shoe area (terribly uncomfortable). Uh oh, now I'm preventing excuses in advance.
3) Found iPod, as I searched it out for some other use. (Funny how searching for it wasn't a problem when it wasn't to be used for exercise). Since I've found it, I've been using it for multiple tasks, therefore I still know its whereabouts.
4) Have been plugging iPod in daily so as not to wonder about power level. This has been intentional. Woo.
5) Deleted Bible reading application so reader's monotone, dry voice won't interrupt music mojo. Never fear, other Bible ap (the kind where I actually read it - and I don't have to use a dry, monotonous voice) is still there.
Okay, this is wholly amazing. The first 5 excuses have been entirely obliterated without so much as a plan of attack or a widespread effort. I can't even believe it. This is mere passive resistance. Simple nickle & dime technique. Regarding this particular list, remaining are:
6) I would have to get dressed for the run - but oh! I have two new running skirts - but it snowed today - BUT I also have a new pair of running pants AND a new running jacket!! So while getting out the door is the hardest part, the iPod is located, powered up and ready to roll and I have fun and cute clothes so it should actually be fun to get ready.
7) Timing
I would like to acknowledge that getting out the door will likely remain a challenge, and that gumption will probably be required for success. I am going to pray for gumption to get out the door.
Confessions of Stupidity
I committed myself with "Well...", bolstered my courage with a swig of good coffee and dove headlong into my ugly confession about my life of lame excuses. I don't know what I was hoping to gain - help, companionship, accountability, understanding? - but I do know that I was expecting to receive veiled condescension. However, I should have pegged my friend, this fresh and bright soul, less severely; I should have been more expectant of patronizing commentary and sympathetic smiles. Even that was too much. Imagine my surprise when she fairly shouted, "I know! I can't work out because it would take me 15 minutes to get changed, and...and...and...!"
Okay, to be fair, she is a new friend, so it's not very weird that we didn't know this about each other.
We compared excuses and many were the same, and the ones that differed were equally stupid. What a rousing conversation ensued! (Well, our conversations are always rousing, but...) The wonder of it was that it was NOT rooted in the misery-loves-company thing, as neither of us wanted to stay in the misery zone, but were both excited to explore the thing in an effort to kill it! It's probably obvious that we didn't kill it and neither did we face off with it (yet), but we did some surveillance of the enemy and also did discover that we are not a one person army after all.
Okay, to be fair, she is a new friend, so it's not very weird that we didn't know this about each other.
We compared excuses and many were the same, and the ones that differed were equally stupid. What a rousing conversation ensued! (Well, our conversations are always rousing, but...) The wonder of it was that it was NOT rooted in the misery-loves-company thing, as neither of us wanted to stay in the misery zone, but were both excited to explore the thing in an effort to kill it! It's probably obvious that we didn't kill it and neither did we face off with it (yet), but we did some surveillance of the enemy and also did discover that we are not a one person army after all.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Dissecting A Large Excuse
How does an excuse become so powerful when the thing the excuse is suppressing is such a coveted thing? I sacrifice all that I want physically in exchange for the power to sit on my arse and do nothing. What? It's not like I can't still sit on my arse and do nothing later, after a lil workout, so...what's the problem? And what's the pull of sitting on my arse and doing nothing anyway? I don't particularly like it. It does feel pretty good, but so does running, even the hurting part (when it happens to hurt) - no, I really do like it, plus my ego likes it. Anyway, it boggles my mind.
Right now I'm going to guess at the wonderful reasons I won't run tonight:
1) I'm not sure where my Nike+ shoe insert thingy is.
2) Since I don't have Nike+ shoes, I have to rig the insert thingy up in a certain way, and since its been so long since I've run with it, I don't remember how to do so comfortably.
3) Not exactly sure of my iPod's location.
4) Not sure if my iPod is fully charged.
5) Have a Bible reading application on my iPod that is loaded with the songs and interrupts the songs periodically to read the entire Bible - very annoying.
6) Would have to get dressed for a run.
7) Might have to decide whether to eat dinner first or wait.
...
Alright, this is embarrassingly nitpicky and nonstop. Since we get the gist, I'll quit recording the humiliation. However, I can see that I am clearly setting myself up with an impossible situation. If I am to satisfy all of my conditions before embarking upon a run, especially with no pre-thought or preparation, a run will never happen. I am a tricky devil!
Let me experiment.
Experiment #1: Temporarily remove Nike+ and iPod from running experience (until I can get them under control).
Wow, there go my first 5 excuses! I'm sure I could easily replace those 5 with 5 more, but the point is, the excuses are just that, EXCUSES. Stupid, imagined blockades I use. "I use"? Ouch.
Right now I'm going to guess at the wonderful reasons I won't run tonight:
1) I'm not sure where my Nike+ shoe insert thingy is.
2) Since I don't have Nike+ shoes, I have to rig the insert thingy up in a certain way, and since its been so long since I've run with it, I don't remember how to do so comfortably.
3) Not exactly sure of my iPod's location.
4) Not sure if my iPod is fully charged.
5) Have a Bible reading application on my iPod that is loaded with the songs and interrupts the songs periodically to read the entire Bible - very annoying.
6) Would have to get dressed for a run.
7) Might have to decide whether to eat dinner first or wait.
...
Alright, this is embarrassingly nitpicky and nonstop. Since we get the gist, I'll quit recording the humiliation. However, I can see that I am clearly setting myself up with an impossible situation. If I am to satisfy all of my conditions before embarking upon a run, especially with no pre-thought or preparation, a run will never happen. I am a tricky devil!
Let me experiment.
Experiment #1: Temporarily remove Nike+ and iPod from running experience (until I can get them under control).
Wow, there go my first 5 excuses! I'm sure I could easily replace those 5 with 5 more, but the point is, the excuses are just that, EXCUSES. Stupid, imagined blockades I use. "I use"? Ouch.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Physical Inspiration in Multi-Form!
1) A recent regular blood lab result showed fantastic levels of everything - I am your star student - in all but Vitamin D, in which I am scarily deficient. Now that I am in remedial Vit. D supplementing, I expect to get caught up and rid myself of muscle weakness (and other bad stuff) soon. Soon.
2) I have somehow jumped directly from someone's fashion blog (I can't remember whose) to some exercise & fitness blogs. Some very FUNNY fitness blogs which include the writers' foibles and difficulties. They support the concepts I already have regarding the subject, so they feel like a strong and personable support system, and they have inspired me. I don't know if they have inspired me enough to make a run or any other form of exercise happen, but...
3) With my REI giftcard from dear ole dad-in-law, I bought two fitness skirts (or maybe a skirt and a skort) and a jacket. The skirts are arriving tomorrow and I am looking forward to wearing them, but that means a workout! I also have a new pair of workout pants with the tags on...hmmm.
4) p.j. and I are heavily discussing parenthood this year, and I do NOT want that process to start without having a fitness routine established which can safely extend throughout...you know.
All this means, it's time to stop letting my feelings make my decisions. Time to don the mantle of discipline and kick it in the rear. At least get up and walk around the block!
2) I have somehow jumped directly from someone's fashion blog (I can't remember whose) to some exercise & fitness blogs. Some very FUNNY fitness blogs which include the writers' foibles and difficulties. They support the concepts I already have regarding the subject, so they feel like a strong and personable support system, and they have inspired me. I don't know if they have inspired me enough to make a run or any other form of exercise happen, but...
3) With my REI giftcard from dear ole dad-in-law, I bought two fitness skirts (or maybe a skirt and a skort) and a jacket. The skirts are arriving tomorrow and I am looking forward to wearing them, but that means a workout! I also have a new pair of workout pants with the tags on...hmmm.
4) p.j. and I are heavily discussing parenthood this year, and I do NOT want that process to start without having a fitness routine established which can safely extend throughout...you know.
All this means, it's time to stop letting my feelings make my decisions. Time to don the mantle of discipline and kick it in the rear. At least get up and walk around the block!
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