Mind Games

I was starting to contemplate the possibility of p.j. never showing up to get me.  "What if he couldn't get the tires on the Jeep?"  "What if he's been in an accident?"  "What if I was on the wrong road?"  "What if...no, he'll show up."  "I wanted to get in my full half hour run anyway, so this is good...I told him I wanted at least a half hour..."

Finally, far off in the distance, I could see something that resembled the Jeep enough for me to peg my hopes on it.  I had paced my run faster than normal, just because of the possibility p.j. would probably show up before I had my half hour in, so I wanted my run time to count.  It was the Jeep, oh mercy in heaven!  But I was actually only at 36 minutes and I felt pretty great, so what's the big trauma?

Enter mind games.  The plan was:  I run straight out into the countryside on a specified road and p.j. would leave the shop 'soon' and come home via that specified road, picking me up and giving me a ride home.  However, I had no idea how long before he would actually meet me for the pick up.

Before the half hour had passed, I worried that he would arrive before I had a good run in.  I worried that I wasn't going fast enough to make it count.  I was worried that I was going too fast to be able to keep going for an unknown amount of time.  After the 30 minutes had passed, I was worried that he wouldn't arrive soon enough.  I was worried that I was running too fast for too long.  I was worried that slowing down would ruin my overall pace and train me to slow down as a run progresses.  I was worried that he wouldn't show up.  I was worried that I would have to end my run and walk, in a running skirt, down a lonely country road - vulnerable.

It took me about 33 of those 36 minutes to figure out that I was in my first set of real running mind games.  As much as I was exercising my body, I was exercising my mind, expanding my will.  Alright.  Good.  Okay.  I just wished I would have thought of that earlier.

Yesterday's goal planning and realization was successful:

• Goal:  Use the camera. For taking pictures.

I drove home with the camera in my lap as a reminder to get the memory card.  It worked.  I took pictures of p.j.'s Jeep, complete with new tires.  Don't believe me?

Yes, that is our dandelion infestation.

I also shot p.j., dirty from the shop, starting up the mower.  By now you probably don't need proof, but I want to show anyway:

Start 'er up, p.j.!

So happy to be mowing.  Er...

• Goal:  Run solo at every chance.  Even if it's just a mile or two.

I guess we've already established that I got a run in yesterday, what with the brain games and all.  I won't have time for one today and probably not tomorrow (unless I can yank myself out of bed in the early a.m.), so I am planning one for Saturday.

• Goal:  Set up time to daily seek the face of God.

After the run, I climbed into a bath and talked and talked with God.  I can just say: Wow.  He is what I have been needing, and all those naggling things floating around in my mind are gone.  Peace and fulfillment, security and excitement.  Just, Wow.

• Goal:  Get back on track with 3 quarts a day.

Completed!  I just finished quart #1 today.  Getting more now...

I also watched Austin finish off Modern Warfare II last night, though it was very late.  He actually invited us up to the ghetto room for it.  Coo. :)

One more, since I'm on a roll (and a bit narcissistic).  Taken in my office abouuuut...20 minutes ago:

 Don't mind the cord/cord cover, just look at how the clothes match the tattoo.  Sweet shoes, too.